My Adopted Family,
A Story of Faith, Life and Love
by
Mary Werling
I first heard the word "abortion" on TV when I was in elementary school. When my mom told me what it was, I couldn't believe that it was legal to kill babies. Why would a woman choose to kill her baby when she could give it up for adoption? This question is personal for me.
I believe that the advantage of adoption versus abortion is simple. It is the miracle of life. I know that miracle firsthand because I am adopted.
My birthmother was 19 years old when she discovered that she was pregnant with me. Because of her pregnancy, she had to drop our of college. Although her friends pressured her, as a Catholic, she refused to have an abortion and end her baby's life. She knew she couldn't raise me by herself, but she had a family friend who had a successful adoption. She saw the love and security that child had in his adoptive family, as well as the respect they had for their child's birthmother. My birthmother wanted the same things for her baby and for herself. She prayed for guidance and then began looking for adoptive parent. The only couple she felt comfortable with was Baptist. But she wanted her child raised in the Catholic faith.
At the same time, my parents couldn't have a baby. They went to adoption agencies but were turned down by many birthmothers because they are Catholic. The women they met were looking for "born-again Christians" to raise their babies. My mother felt that God was telling her to find her baby in the Catholic Church. So she sent 200 letters to Catholic churches across California. Then God intervened.
One priest read her letter and gave a homily about my parent's adoption quest. He also posted her letter on the church bulletin board. A family friend of my birthmother's attended Mass that day. On her way home, she ran into my birthmother's mother at the grocery store and told her about the letter.
Later, my birthmother read the letter and called my parents. My parents met with her and her family. They all felt an immediate connection. Nine months after my mom sent out those letters, I was born. The first thing my parents did after bringing me home was to take me to church to thank God for our new family and to have me blessed by the priest.
This is my adoption story. But I have another to share. When I was three years old, I wanted to have a brother or sister like all of my friends. So my parents and I prayed together every night and asked God to help us find our baby. Once again, my mom sent out letters. And once again her faith was rewarded. Another teenage Catholic girl was looking for an adoptive family. She read my parent's letter, met them, and completed our family when she gave birth to my sister, Sarah. Her family priest came to the hospital to bless Sarah, her birth family, and her adoptive family. When I finally got to hold my sister, I didn't want to let her go. Now she bugs me all the time. We do not share the same DNA, but she is and will always be a part of me.
This is the story of my family. It is the story of faith, life and love - the story of adoption. Abortion, on the other hand, is the story of death. The advantage of adoption to me personally is simple: It is the gift of life and the gift of a family.
But adoption isn't simply about unwed mothers finding loving homes for their babies. God gifted everyone with adoption when he sent Jesus to be our savior.
"For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world t be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ...to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves." (Ephesians 1:4)
Adoption is love. What greater advantage could there be?
Mary Werling is a member of Holy Trinity parish. This essay was
chosen as the winner of the January 2004 respect life essay contest
sponsored by the Respect Life Office of the Diocese of Sacramento.